Eleanor Jacqueline Meschke

To my little Ellie,

You are now 19 months old and I today I was realizing how much you have changed. How much you change and learn everyday. I know everyone says this, but I can hardly believe all the things you have done and ways you have changed in the last year and a half. I am already forgetting some of the things you have done, expressions you have and how you used to look. So, I wanted to write to you, so we can both remember the wonderful person you are right now.

You, of course, were tiny when you were born. Starting at 30 weeks gestation, I worried about you as you had started to not grow well. I liked to call you my little B. You were only 3 lbs 7 oz at birth, but you were clearly a fighter from the beginning. And you were so cute!

You have always been a daddy's girl.

Daddy fed you most of your bottles and was the only one who could get you to finish your whole meal. And his work paid off; it wasn't long and you were off the premie growth chart and getting bigger. You were a bit weird about taking your bottles, though. Daddy had a whole system down, which once you were big enough, often involved you standing up to drink it.

You still really like your Daddy. In fact, most of the time when you fall down or are sick, you want Daddy to hold you.

You still don't love eating. It can sometimes be a struggle to get you to eat your meals and this, of course, worries me from time to time. But you do have some favorites. You absolutely LOVE broccoli. And apple sauce is another thing I know you will always eat. Of course, ice cream is always finished, too! At your 18 month check up, you weighed 22 lbs 1 oz, which is between the 10th and 25th %. You were 32 inches tall, which is between the 50th and 75th %. I guess I shouldn't be too worried!

You weren't a very snuggly baby at first. In fact, there were times when you wouldn't calm down until you were put down, on the floor or in a bouncy seat. But that isn't really very true anymore. You are now a wonderful hug-giver. There is nothing I like more than feeling your little arm tight against my neck. Especially right after waking up, you are likely to give a big hug and hold on tight.

You are also a very generous little person. When cousin Max is around, you spend most of your time checking on him and bringing him toys. I get the feeling you like being older, and bigger, than him. You are also very nice (usually) to your sister. Emma often wants whatever you have and usually you give it to her freely. Last week, you got out of the bath first and picked the tiger towel. Emma started fussing and crying as soon as she saw you take it. By the time she got out of the bath, you were already in your room and Emma was loudly protesting against my attempts for her to use the duck towel. It wasn't long and you were back...with the tiger towel in your hand. You happily let Emma have it, taking the duck towel yourself. But I guess I am not very surprised...you think Emma is the best. You want to kiss her all the time, even when she doesn't. And no one can get you to giggle like Emma can. I love watching you two together and I hope you are best friends for your whole lives.

All of this doesn't mean you never get mad or stand up for yourself. Actually, you do seem to have a bit of a temper. I can usually see it coming. Something happens that you don't like (maybe you get frustrated because you can't tell us what you want) and I can see your whole body getting tense. And then if I don't see it quickly enough, Emma gets bitten or pushed. I know that you two will fight but I also believe you will be best friends.

Despite being so small at birth, you are doing perfectly developmentally. You crawled a few weeks before Emma did and pulled to a stand shortly before her, too. For most things, you have been about 3 weeks behind Emma. Who can blame you? You had to spend a lot of energy growing. You are starting to get pretty good at communicating. You know the signs for more, drink and all done and we are working on thank you. You say a bunch of words, too - Dada, Mama, Pa (grandpa), Rah-Rah (Riley), pease (please), baba (baby), yessss, dar (car), this, eye, bear, ball. I know I am forgetting a few, too. I love watching you learn to talk. But I kow you must have a lot more to say. You are usually the quiet one, carefully watching everyone. I often wonder about what you are thinking.

I know there will plenty of time for you to tell me all the things you are thinking. And I don't want to wish away this time that you are so little. Because it is going fast; you already aren't such a "little B" anymore!